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departure

by dana sterling

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1.
Knives out We fight for real this time I never meant to be right I don’t know who’s right It’s a deep sigh in my mind’s eye Can’t breath as I remember What it was like What it’s like Disordered breathing and thoughts sync up With these anxious dreams In this space we keep Our eyes intertwined With silence stealing the finish line We can’t go back in time Inhaling, exhaling Sweet absent breath next to mine Savor devotion suspended in time Soft beaded sweat Late nights out Exhilaration Get off, Get off Get off Held tight to the chest That you’d rather protect These expectations invite regret Broken, but stronger And more intact These flowers will wilt While these words will last There’s a life to be lived Promises to be kept And moving forward Is all we have left
2.
Berating the battered The bruised relentlessly villainized Through violent contrast Forced to adhere To identical seams Pieces that don’t fit And never could Driving divide Full force and flinching Asleep on Park While energy leaks Cold rain is soaking Skin through to bone Existence shouldn’t look like this Blood sucked deep from every organ It spills in another dimension Where there is No air, no soil, no sun Just aches, sharp tastes Night terrors to replace Each seed we’ve buried below While insurrection bubbles beneath Building to break through The binds that have been wrapped tight A million lives born together but Separated by constructs We never consented to A choir of voices condemn Bootstraps thrown at us Like led life jackets And we’re done Trading minimum sums In exchange for blood Floating among Billions laid down before us We are far too loud To continue to ignore us Climbing numbers Impossible Standards Lifeless sick bastards Won’t convince us to suffer Portraits of dreams Aching and ruined Fictions collapse Fight for your lives
3.
Run out of breath It’s all been spent Time lapse rot fast Feeding off debt Convinced it’s for others to fix Displaced by apathy Turned away Toward garbage peaks Ivory towers Suspect desire Like stars falling fast So too soon this will collapse They’ll just say it’s not right But progress will get us by You’ll be sitting in shit Before the sun begins to rise Watching the whole world burn Right before our eyes There’s rhythm disruptions But not enough this time When money is screaming Obstructing, misleading There’s so much more than What the surface implies Is it worth it to shelter Behind passive eyes Before the sun burns out And the sky descends Before the waters dry up And we reach the end Ready yourselves Ready yourselves While the earth is still breathing Drag them straight to hell Sky dust and wavering tenses Designed to set fires To the lives we’ve been living How can we be expected to breathe? Air filled with ashes, soot and hot wax Can this ever be taken back? Void of life A spoiled home filled with fumes and gas Of a planet long past Sitting illuminated by the fiery glow of oil gardens Extermination is another man’s wealth Replacing a home
4.
There’s no escape We lost a part of us There in the dust and clay No one will notice Nor grieve for the faceless you’ve scorned We wonder why nothing changes In apathy we’ll carry on When the guards fill their pockets Smiles linger on their faces We ignore the sickness they watch with We look away, we look away Who do we blame For those cages, human cages Blaming people seeking more We look away, we look away We look away, we look away Found a mirror in the back of a book What was absurd was the wanting that came forth The sick end of a frequent memory buried behind pages of fantasy It was - calm. Simple. Sweet. Weaving lies and sympathy to read in classrooms and churches by teachers and preachers Is this healing or concealing a means to an end? Building Walls Breaking Bones Building walls Stealing souls Throwing stones Maintain Control Where did you come from? Why is this home? What is the point in refusing to grow? When bitterness turns to bloodshed and control Where did you come from? Why is this home? What is the point in refusing to grow Bitterness, bloodshed control Control
5.
Raptured Detached Floating above a body going numb Every particle disconnected Spirit ripped from flesh Temporarily dispossessed Knowing the center will cave in Withdrawn but lucid Tethered by circumstance To be bruised To be fucked Confusion turns to regret Waiting for the drop back into oblivion I woke up on an operating table I never agreed to be laid down upon Yet Here you are grabbing, starving, pulling, slicing Your hands greedy and shaking Along with the Rattling wails of past lovers you failed to keep And here I am weeping full of sleet and sand Get your hands off me Get your hands off me Creeping late into a gritty grate We slid down together You pushed me down further Hollow eyes Clenched fists Dried mouth Baptizing me in fear To swing or to suffer I’m still treading water These moments collapse With eyes wide and blacked out Heart fissures leaking So fragile, suddenly Holding out hope I’ll make it out alive I’ll make it out alive You said somehow this was the choice I made As though I craved the dagger To be run right through me Spine pulled tight, cracking One day you’ll sink deeper than i have
6.
Long night drives Divided by tear gas and red lights A slight chill A vibrance magnified by silence And glancing from the window Flames engulf a silhouette I once knew Now it’s different Now it’s not you Where does this go? How far from home Can this vehicle take me? And when will I know that it’s over? When will I know what’s been taken Is cooled and snowed With an acid blanket of destruction Solid torture From the front lines Masked by Long farewells The lies we all believed The promises that we Failed to receive Could they blame me? Break Speed chasm flying like dawn Down a bridge beat to bursting Surfing on the clouds beneath us Like it might be thick enough in this hazy state Not to drop us When the sightless seek The last chance to find this lost land Long after we’ve forgotten It’s easy to say what you would do to stop this When progress doesn’t feel like Your responsibility Could they blame The shadows left behind Everytime a mouth muttered “I don’t mind” But now But now I Bet you do Drinking up dusk While we’re breathing in blood In this violence we trust In this violence we trust Awareness alone Will never be enough We’re alive, we’re alive We’re not made out of rust Make this paradigm cut In this violence we trust Let their throats open up No we’re not made of rust In this occupied place We displace, separate Burn it all down There’s nothing to reclaim We’re not Made of Rust We’re not Made of rust I could say sorry, all that I want But the more I deny The more that I sin They said don’t trust the government But I never thought it would end like this Being used and split Empty hearts rise up and awaken To whole families taken We dig through the ash to find nothing But bones and casings Division does nothing but enforce class lines Indulge the wicked We stay restricted And for what? Reject their oppressive fiction

about

dana sterling - “departure” EP - Modal Screamo from Minneapolis

credits

released August 21, 2020

natalie / wrench /chris / boone/ pete

Tracked, mixed, mastered by Knol Tate aka Daddy Hundo
Artwork by Erin Severson

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dana sterling Minneapolis, Minnesota

//dana sterling was a screamo band from Minneapolis who recorded departure in March of 2020

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